Today we have a fatal fourway between a man, a lot of leaves, almost as many leaf bags, and the desire to not spend too much time or money on the act of ridding the world of what is basically tree dandruff.
In this corner, we have me. I’m a frugal minimalist eager to save money. To my right, we have a backyard full of leaves. Don’t be fooled. There are just as many in the front yard and many more nooks for them to get caught within. This fight also features leaf bags. They should come in black and be taken off by the coroner because by the time I’m through with those leaves and the bags, they’ll both be dead!
Finally, we have will. Not a William or a Bill. It’s my willpower to clean up autumn foliage on the ground as quickly, efficiently, and cheaply as possible.

Four distinguished competitors. Who comes out on top?
Winning the battle against leaves in the yard without spending too much time or money
The autumn season is one of my favorites. The weather cools off. Colors in the trees are magnificent. Holidays are on the way. It has always been a time of reflection and celebration. Not so much for the last few years.
Jenny and I timed our home purchase pretty well when it comes to interest rates and price. Interest rates were way down at the time and the price of homes wasn’t too outrageous compared to how it was only a few months later. Housing prices have gone slightly down in some places while interest rates are skyrocketing. It seemed like everything had gone our way. My opinion began to change as a few leaves fell from the trees. Then more began to fall. Suddenly, I forgot what color grass was.

I’ve gone to battle with leaves these last few years and have gotten to the point where I wonder what the most efficient way to do it is. There are roadblocks on the way. Finding leaf bags is hard enough at times. I ended up having to buy them online for more than I wanted. They were either delivered to the wrong place or not sent at all. Fortunately, they were re-sent yet I remained resentful. I had just spent over $100 on some stupid bags to clean up some stupid leaves from some stupid trees.
Where is the practicality in that?
Why it’s still worth picking up your own leaves than paying someone to do it
I try to accomplish any household chores or duties on my own without hiring an expert. There are certain questions I’ll ask myself with any project like this. Picking up leaves includes very few hazards. Other than finding a leftover Vietcong soldier hudding beneath them, you’re pretty safe.
The number of leaf bags I used probably came close to about $80 worth. Luckily I didn’t use them all. I have enough to do a spring cleanup when the weather is a little kinder. Spending $80 on leaf bags doesn’t sound efficient to me. However, it’s still the cheapest and most practical way to rid the world of these pests.
Having done some research, it would probably cost $300-500 or more to hire a professional to clean up the leaves from our yard. Although I’d save the time, the whole process this fall took about 10 hours. I don’t earn $50 an hour after taxes. If I did, I’d be ghostwriting this blog. An intern would be typing right now. He’d be paid in experience while I dictate and drink expensive coffee.

I’m not a fan of paying people to take things away. It’s part of the reason why I don’t go to barbershops. I can do it myself or have my wife help out.
When it comes to something like leaf pickup, money and time are the two most important factors for me. With time, ask yourself how many hours you’d need to work in order to afford it. I’m much better off spending a couple hours on two weekends to clean up the leaves than getting another job simply to pay someone to clean up my lawn.
We’ll call this battle a draw. But it’s like the United States tying England in the World Cup. I feel victorious even though all I did was play good defense.
See you in the spring you scummy leaves.
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